I wish this were the sort of good nervousness I used to feel about a week before a horse show, but it is not. I'm sort of dreading the surgery, even though compared to some of the medical stuff I've been through it's a cake walk. It's just that I have a certain routine to my horsey life now and I don't want to have it disrupted, even if ultimately I'll benefit from that disruption.
In other words, I just want the pain to magically go away without having to go through the stressful experience of signing into the hospital, wrapping myself up in one of those ridiculous gowns that hide nothing, and hopping onto a gurney. Then there's that dreadful, long, drawn out period of time where the nurse starts the IV and I just lie there, wishing that I was home, trail riding Wally.
And the ultimate irony? In order to have a procedure that will (hopefully) result in less pain, I have to first endure the pain that comes from having the procedure performed.
But, as always, I'll find some humor in the situation. For example, I'm going to judge a horse show the Sunday after this little trip to the operating room. I happen to like judging, and nothing will keep me away from a chance to spend a day around horses and get paid for it! Yet that means I'll be sitting in the summer heat, with wires coming out of my upper back that are connected to a pocket-sized, battery-operated computer.
No, I'm not kidding.
My doctor said, "Don't worry, you can cover it all up with your clothes."
It'll be at least 90 degrees. Precisely how much clothing does he anticipate me wearing that day?
I can feel the sweat collecting underneath the white adhesive medical tape right now, and the stitches and staples snagging on my shirt each time I scribble notes on my score sheet. Yet believe it or not, I can laugh at that scenario. Why? Because it's just further evidence that I am, indeed, horse crazy.
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