Friday, January 16, 2009

You Might be a Horsewoman If...

I have come to the conclusion that I am 100% horsewoman. How do I know? There was a time when I would make regularly scheduled visits to Macy's and browse through racks of DKNY jeans and Calvin Klein blouses. Now I get all excited when Target puts their long-sleeved t-shirts on sale, because I buy one in every color. They neatly tuck into the waistband of my Wranglers. Fortunately, I live in a town where there are lots of horse crazy women just like me. My trail riding pal, Natalie, is one of them. Ask her about the guy she's currently dating and she'll speak matter-of-factly about his good points and bad points. But ask her about either of her two grulla geldings, and she simply gushes. Like many other horsewomen, my friend Natalie will always think of her horse as the handsomest, most perfect "man" in her life.
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A true horsewoman, I believe, is like that. We can find fault in just about every human being, but we find little to complain about when it comes to our horses. Our horses don't have nasty habits, they have "idiosyncrasies." Our horses aren't spoiled, they're "pampered." Our horses aren't annoying or obnoxious, they're "characters." Lord knows I've uttered precisely these exact words and phrases when referring to Wally. My final telltale sign of Horsewomanship is this: If you were given $100 to spend frivolously-- not to pay a bill but to spend however you please-- what would you buy? If your answer includes a 50-pound bag of anything made by Purina, an item of tack or a stall cleaning implement, then you truly are a horsewoman.
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Just click on "comments" below to share your thoughts!

4 comments:

Nancy said...

Or, you might be a horse woman if you get kicked out of a store for smelling too much like a horse. Did you see the article about the horse woman who got kicked out of a Tesco store because she was too smelly????
Here's the link...
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1119002/Woman-horse-rider-kicked-Tesco-store-smelly.html

Oh my god - how many times have a stopped by the store, covered in muck, horse hair, etc!!!!

Anonymous said...

I agree with what you said, Cindy. If I were given a hundred dollars, I would be off to the tack store!! And I, too, can recall incidents where my friends and I endlessly discussed the various attributes of our horses. As a girl, it was the lesson horses that were cute, not the boys. Here's another one-you know you're a horsewoman if you walk into a store wearing your riding clothes and smelling-well- lets just say you have an odor that is not altogether pleasing to the majority of the population. But horse people know how to find fellow horse people. When in such situations, buying groceries or gas, I have been stopped by fellow horse women. They skip saying a hello, simply asking. "Where do you ride?" Or "Do you jump or do dressage?" But, in the end, I have to say that I am proud to be a horse woman!! :-)

Anonymous said...

ummmm....or you might be a horsewoman if, while arriving at the prim and polished office of your eye doctor, you go to sign in and, while placing your coat down on the counter, hay spills out all over the immaculate floor....so, while apologizing and making excuses, you casually go outside to shake the coat off into a planter bed....yes,...that just happened last month. If I had an extra $100..... I'd probably buy a new bridle - not because I need it... or, better yet, I'd save it to spend frivolously at some used tack sales. I've found the best items at the best prices and "enjoyed the hunt" to boot!

Cindy Hale said...

Oh my gosh, I thought I was the only one who'd gotten stares for smelling horsey at a store. And it was at, of all places, my beloved Target!!! I don't think I've dumped hay sprinkles on a counter, but I have tromped into a department store while Christmas shopping with my riding boots on. I honestly didn't realize I was leaving track marks of muck and mud all the way down the aisle. Oops!