Tuesday, November 4, 2008

If I Ruled the World

Do we have a new president yet? I sure hope so, because I can't take one more day of endless political TV commercials let alone the one-sided political diatribes that flood my email's inbox. Enough already!

Besides-- not to make light of the dire problems our country currently faces-- neither of the presidential candidates addressed some of the most important issues that mattered to me as a horse owner. With that in mind, here's what I would promise in my campaign speeches if I were running for the office of Queen of the World:

1. Upon ascending to the throne I'd immediately appoint a Deputy Minister of Denim. Their first duty? To develop a pair of jeans that not only fit well but actually function properly for riding. In other words, no 1/2" thick crotch seams, no binding waistbands and no sparkling doo-dads or swirly embroidery on the back pockets.

2. No horse show classes will begin before 9:30 a.m. This benefits the horses, the exhibitors and the judges. No living creature should have to participate in any sort of aerobic activity before they've digested their breakfast.

3. Polo wraps shall be sold in sets of 5 and bell boots in bundles of 3. Hoof picks will be packaged by the dozen, like eggs. We're always misplacing these items, so why not stay one step ahead of fate and just get an extra one (or more) from the get-go?

4. All men will be required to demonstrate the ability to drive a tractor, hitch up a horse trailer and repair a fence line. Men might as well be useful as well as ornamental so let's teach them skills that are actually valuable.

5.There will be a resurgence in great literature and movies about horses, even if I have to commission such endeavors. The world needs more books like Black Beauty, The Red Pony and National Velvet. And who doesn't love a thrilling western movie starring good looking cowboys and even better looking horses? Heaven knows I do! And I'm the Queen, so my opinion is the only one that truly matters.

I know, that's only five proclamations. But it's a start. Once I become crowned as Queen I'm sure I can dream up a few more.
Have any idea what you'd do if you were Queen of the (Horse) World? Just click on "comments" below or email me at: hc-editor@bowtieinc.com


Jessica said...

Here here! You totally have my vote! :D

allison said...

You have my vote,but can you leave sparkyes on some jeans?

heres one: men should be forced to ride side saddle at least once in their life.

Anonymous said...

Here's one: how about allotting some money to be used for research for a robot stall cleaning (think muy grande sized robot kitty litter cleaner).

Anonymous said...

you'd have my vote.

and here's another one. allocating some money to give horses to some of the horse crazy girls out there who keep begging and pleading with their parents but still are horseless... (it's been 19 years for me and my parents still say no) lol ^_^

Anonymous said...

Hey i like your idea you have my vote.Love the idea about Hoofpicks,Bellboots and polo wraps.

Cindy Hale said...

And might I add, Free Kit Kat bars forever! Man, it's past Halloween and I'm still addicted to them. Maybe I can get Wally hooked on them so I can get rid of my stash of leftover trick-or-treat candy.

Anonymous said...

You have my vote!

Love the one about the men having to use a tractor...

Anonymous said...

Ha! Love it! I'd definately be voting for you...

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